6 days ago5 min read

parenting in a digital era

Let's face it: Parenting is one of the hardest jobs on the planet, especially with the ever-growing influence of screens and social media. The smartphone in your pocket and the tablet in your child's hands offer incredible access to information and communication. However, they also introduce a huge set of challenges.

In fact, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy announced that “social media is associated with significant mental health harms for adolescents.” But social media is here to stay, whether we like it or not. So we have to learn to live with it, and teach our children to both rise above its influence, as well as reap it's benefits.

Here are some practical approaches to navigating parenting in this digital era.

Rule #1: LET THEM BE BORED

After we were given interesting advice from a dear friend and educator, we decided to let our kids be bored one summer. They were signed up for a grand total of ZERO summer camps and activities. We didn't allow for more than a half hour of screen time a day, and a weekly movie.

So what did they do all summer? They taught themselves how to do origami, ran through the sprinkler, played soccer and wiffle ball, crafted like crazy, played board games, and ate popsicles. And the best part? they LOVED it. (Correction: the best part was that the summer cost us next to nothing! We couldn't believe it either). Ever since then, we have indulged in what I call minimalist summers.

Rule #2: UnderstanD the Digital Landscape

Of course, as children get older, they will inevitably have #socialmedia exposure. But without understanding the digital world, how can a parent regulate their child's exposure? Research indicates that over 80% of children have used a tablet or smartphone by age two. So as parents, we must understand our frenemy: the digital world.

Know thy frenemy: the digital world

It is not only about the amount of screen time, but also about the quality of content consumed. With the rise of streaming services like Netflix and interactive apps like Duolingo, children engage with a range of content. Parents should stay aware of these variations to have informed discussions with their children about responsible screen use and the type of media they encounter.

High angle view of a colorful children's play area — Ironic digital image of children playing on a playground

Rule #3: Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations

Setting clear boundaries is one of the most effective ways to manage screen time. Children thrive in predictable routines, so establishing guidelines for screen usage is beneficial. In our household, week day screen time is 3-3:30pm, and we don't do screens (except for a family movie night) on the weekends. The best way to start is by determining an amount of screen time that aligns with your family values and lifestyle.

Consider these factors while setting boundaries:

Age appropriateness: Tailor screen time to different age groups—for instance, children aged 2-5 should have no more than one hour of high-quality programming. While older children can safely have more time on the screen, it should never exceed two hours, (unless it is for the inevitable computer use for school assignments).
Content quality: Focus on educational content. Research has shown that children who watch educational programs have better language skills. Whether it's academic programming or life lessons, take advantage of the free content that can help your child's development. For younger children, we love pbskids.org. For our older ones, we let them spend about an hour a day on #KhanAcademy or #DuoLingo, for example.
Active versus passive use: Encourage engagement with interactive content, like educational games, rather than passive consumption of videos. Video games can benefit their sports IQ and performance, as well as their reaction time. But stay away from video games with violent content. There is enough violence and conflict in the world. Children do not need to have even more exposure in the fantasy world of video games. Violent video games have been found to be associated with increased aggression in children and teens, and can lead to bullying behaviors (pnas.org, Dartmouth analysis).

There is no developmental benefit to violent video games, and only potential harm. Ditch them!

Establishing clear expectations helps foster healthier relationships with technology and leads to a more balanced lifestyle.

Rule #4: Foster Open Communication

In the age of social media, fostering communication is crucial. Encourage your children to share their online experiences, both good and bad. Create a safe space where discussing what they encounter online is comfortable. This dialogue builds trust and helps you educate them about potential issues, like cyberbullying or misinformation.

Engage in family discussions about current trends or viral videos. These conversations can give insight into how your child processes online content. For example, exploring a viral meme together can help your child think critically, while showing that you are supportive and engaged in their digital world.

Rule #5: Encourage Alternative Activities

Managing screen time effectively means introducing alternative activities that can keep your children engaged. Encourage participation in sports, arts and crafts, outdoor adventures, or reading.

Creating a balanced routine improves your child’s overall well-being. For instance, children who engage in sports are 30% more likely to report higher self-esteem. Family activities, like bike rides or gardening, strengthen bonds while providing enriching experiences.

Additionally, consider establishing technology-free zones during family meals or setting aside dedicated game nights. These moments promote deeper connections without distractions from screens.

Rule #6: Model Healthy Behavior

Children often imitate the behaviors of adults, making it essential to model healthy screen habits. Be mindful of your technology usage, setting specific times for checking your devices. Being present when interacting with your children can significantly impact their habits.

Also, choose quality content for yourself. Watching educational programs or documentaries can influence your child’s viewing habits positively. Setting boundaries and creating tech-free times, like during family gatherings, fosters a more connected family dynamic.

Rule #7: Re-evaluate and Adapt

Parenting involves continuous learning and adjustment. As children grow, their relationship with technology evolves. Regularly reassess your family’s screen time policies to ensure they still align with your values.

Stay informed about new platforms and trends. By understanding what your child is exposed to, you can guide them effectively and keep the lines of communication open. Being adaptable is crucial in this digital age, and parents should be ready to pivot as necessary.

Final Thoughts

Navigating parenting in an era filled with screens and social media may feel overwhelming. However, with the right strategies and a proactive approach, parents can create a balanced environment for their children. By allowing your children to experience boredom, setting clear boundaries, fostering open communication, encouraging alternative activities, and modeling healthy behaviors, families can thrive amid the demands of this on-demand world.

Every family is unique, and it's important to find the approach that works best for your situation. But no matter your family situation, there is no screen time, video game, or robot friend that can take the place of human interaction.

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Drs. Betler and Kurra are the blessed parents of four children, and the owners of CT Sports Recovery in Westport. Dr. Betler specializes in #osteopathicmanipulation and #lifestylemedicine. Dr. Kurra specializes in rehabilitation and #regenerativemedicine. CT Sports Recovery offers holistic pain management, personal training, and shockwave therapy to support athletes and people with musculoskeletal pain.